Funerals 101 - what to say, what to do, what to give?

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Funerals 101 – what to say, what to do, what to give?

Par Camille Baillargeon, créatrice de contenu

Have you been invited to a funeral and not quite sure what to say or do? Is it a new experience for you and you are feeling unprepared? This guide will put your mind at ease in a complex and delicate situation. By following these four tips, this inevitable stage of life will go off without a hitch.

Dress code

If there is no special request from the family at the invitation, you can’t go wrong by choosing clean, sober clothes in neutral tones. You don’t necessarily have to wear black, the traditional color of mourning, but it’s a safe choice. It’s best to avoid colors that are too bright, or clothing that’s too casual or relaxed (torn jeans, T-shirts with inappropriate messages or illustrations, etc.).

How to proceed

At the funeral home, the first thing you’ll want to do is offer your condolences to the loved ones you know. In general, the immediate family will stand at the front of the room, next to the urn or casket. There’s nothing to stop you introducing yourself to them if you haven’t yet met them, and offering your condolences as well. A brief word of sympathy is all it takes! If you’re comfortable, you will be invited to pay your respects at the front, next to the urn or casket. A simple moment of silence is always in good taste, but you can let your emotions inspire you to say a few words. You may be invited to stay for the memorial service, or to follow towards the church. In places of worship, the front pews are usually reserved for immediate family, and silence is the order of the day.

Cards and flowers

These are tokens of sympathy. They don’t have to be, but they are generally appreciated. A simple greeting card with a heartfelt message, or a brief anecdote about the deceased, is just the thing if you wish to offer something small and inexpensive. Sometimes, in lieu of flowers, the family may ask you to make a donation to a particular foundation: you can do this online via the foundation’s website, or by completing a donation envelope that could be made available to you at the urn or casket viewing.

Visiting time

If you’re not part of the immediate family, who are usually on site for the duration of the exhibition, your visit may be short. If you do not wish to linger or stay for the ceremony, you may simply offer your sympathies, pay your respects at the urn or casket, and leave. However, it is permissible and encouraged to stay a few minutes longer to greet and chat with guests. Your kind words and presence can be a balm for the bereaved. A hot drink (coffee, tea, water) is often offered if you wish to extend your visit and chat further.

The events surrounding a death can be overwhelming and confusing. All in all, we recommend that you keep your interactions incomplex and remember that you are invited to wrap your grieving loved ones in your warm, comforting presence. If you have any questions about an upcoming event, our dispatch team will be happy to assist and direct you. You can reach us at 514-735-2025 seven days a week.